Monday, December 03, 2012
Homosexual Parents Just as Good As Heterosexual Parents
10077491
L03
L03
Homosexuality and gay
and lesbian parents are no longer really a “shocker” in modern day society. T.V
shows and movies are regularly adding homosexual characters with children, and
celebrities are increasingly being open about their sexuality. Shows like Modern
Family with gay couple Cam and Mitchell who adopt their daughter Lily and Glee
with Rachel Berry and her gay dads, are becoming increasingly popular and
normal. Movies like The Kids are Alright which tells the story of 2 lesbian moms
are also being introduced; lead actress Annette Bening actually won an Oscar
for her role in the film. Children with same sex parents are becoming more
integrated into popular culture which I think is an important aspect in order
to get people to start seeing that it’s ok to have same sex parents in real
life. This is where the role of celebrities being open about being homosexual
parents comes into play like Elton John, Rosie O’Donnell, and Neil Patrick
Harris. They’re open about it and proud of it which I think is a really big
influence in trying to get more and more people to be ok with homosexuality. And
it’s not just in the celebrity world that we are seeing gay and lesbian parents
become more popular and abundant but also in everyday life. Not so much with our
generation and the older ones because homosexuality was and still is extremely
frowned upon by some, but we are seeing more of the younger generations with gay
and lesbian parents becoming more open and accepted.
For me personally I
never really knew what my view and stance was on homosexuality. I always
thought that I was ok with it and supported it but I will admit that when I
used to see two men or two women kissing I thought it was completely weird. I
thought it wasn’t as normal because I grew up with heterosexual parents and to
me having a mom and a dad was normal. It wasn’t that I thought it was unnatural
because I have always believed that love comes in all shapes and forms and it
doesn’t matter who you love. Although I did have this belief that all types of
love existed, I believed that some types of love were just more normal than
others. I was what you would call, not a homophobe which Merriam-Webster
Dictionary defines as the “irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination
against homosexuality or homosexuals”, but a heterosexist, which is “the belief
that heterosexism is the norm” as defined by Professor Johnston, one of my
communication professors at the University of Calgary. But
about three years ago my parents got divorced and about a year and a half ago
one my parents admitted to being homosexual. (Now I’m not going to state which
parent, mom or dad, became homosexual and not because I’m uncomfortable or
ashamed of it but because it is something personal to them that they are still
struggling with and wish to keep within our family.) To me this came as a huge
shock and surprise. When my parent first told me that they were interested in
the same sex a range of emotions came over me and I didn’t really know what to
feel. I wanted to support them but like I said I was so used to what I
considered “normal” that this seemed wrong and I wondered how they would change
as my parent. But after a couple weeks of confusion I had an epiphany like
moment and realized it didn’t matter what gender my parent was into, it didn’t
take away from the fact that they were my parent. It didn’t matter who they loved because they still
loved me and were going to continue to love, care, and parent me. The moment I
realized this, my view on the homosexual community and homosexuals as parents
completely changed. Within the past year I feel I have become a more open
minded, compassionate, and accepting person and I believe this is due to the
fact that homosexuality has been brought into my life on a personal level.
Many studies have been
done to compare the difference between children raised by either heterosexual
or homosexual parents. These types of studies involve observing, analyzing and
interviewing children in terms of teasing and social isolation, adjustment and
self-esteem, opposite gender role models, sexual orientation, and strengths. Ellen
C. Perrin, MD, a professor of pediatrics at Tufts University School of Medicine
in Boston, stated that, "The vast consensus of all the studies shows that
children of same-sex parents do as well as children whose parents are
heterosexual in every way.” (para.4) Majority of studies I looked at online agree
with Perrin and most found that children with homosexual parents were raised in
similar ways and had similar views and strengths. A study was done between 2009
and 2010 at the Center for Family Research at the University of Cambridge,
which involved researchers interviewing 82 children and young adults between
the ages of 4 and 27 who had some form of a homosexual parent in their life
(either both parents or one parent was homosexual). The study found that
majority of the kids were aware that “their family [was] a bit different… but
[that was] something to celebrate, not [to] worry about,” and that even though
many of their friends have questions about their family structure, majority of
their friends, “think it is a good thing, or don’t really care [about their
parents].” (page.3) The study did find that children and their parents were
subjected to judgment and bullying but, “wouldn’t want things to change, [and] wish
other people were more accepting.” (page.3) There are tests and studies that
conclude children raised by homosexual parents don’t fare as well as
heterosexually raised children because they get bullied for having gay or
lesbian parents. But bullying isn’t something that only children with
homosexual parents are subject to; there are many children with heterosexual
parents who get bullied for a range of reasons like being poor, having a
different color of skin, being a certain physical shape and size, or even for
not having the “coolest” backpack. Kids everywhere with all types of families
and parents get bullied so it is unfair to say that children shouldn’t have
homosexual parents just because they will get bullied. Also, the tricky thing
with these types of studies as Carl Berkowitz, M.D says is that they are “weighted
and biased, based on nothing more than the researcher's views,” (para.19) so it
is important to be careful with these studies to see if the researchers were
truthful and honest in analyzing the children and their household, or were just
making biased judgments.
There are many
misconceptions about homosexual parenting. A common misconception is that
homosexual parents will raise homosexual children. If this were true than all
current homosexuals must have had homosexual parents and grandparents and so on
and so on. But majority of homosexuals actually had heterosexual parents. So if
heterosexual parents can raise both heterosexual and homosexual children, then
homosexual parents can also raise both heterosexual and homosexual children. Another
misconception is that if you are a homosexual you are a child molester and a
pedophile. This is absurd and a complete slippery slope statement. Just because
you are gay does not mean that you are going to rape children. The American Academy
of Pediatrics posted a study in 1994 which looked at 352 children from ages 7
months to 17 years, who had been sexually abused, and had “charts reviewed to
determine the relationships of the children to the alleged offender.” (para.5) After
the reviews 35 cases were ruled out, 74 cases were allegedly committed by other
children and teenagers, 9 cases couldn’t identify an offender, and in the
remaining 269 cases only 2 offenders were identified as being gay or lesbian. This
means that 267 cases were committed by heterosexual offenders, and of those 267
cases, 222 of them had an “alleged offender [that] was a heterosexual partner
of a close relative of the child.” (para.6)
If all parents, no
matter what their sexual preference was, could teach their children not to discriminate
then soon this issue will not even exist in the world because everyone will be
accepting of each other. We need to teach each other to love rather than hate
and I know it sounds cliché and cheesy, but if we do this then our world could
be a much better and understanding place. Family gives us a sense of belonging.
Families come in all shapes and sizes and it’s not about their makeup but their
ability to nurture, love, and support their members. That is what makes
families the ideal place for children to be raised. As Alice, a seven year old
girl with lesbian moms said in the Cambridge study, “I’ve got two parents who
love me. It doesn’t matter if they’re a boy or girl.” (page.10)
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]