Tuesday, December 04, 2012
So a Rape Joke Walks into a Comedy Club...
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| Daniel Tosh, noted asshole. |
Every so often, someone will make a rape joke. We have all heard one before. Maybe from a comedian, maybe from a co-worker, maybe from a friend. Perhaps they didn’t think anything of it, and perhaps you didn’t think much of it either. Or perhaps it didn’t sit well with you, and you said something to the person who made the joke. Maybe you told them that the joke wasn’t funny, or that it wasn’t appropriate. And maybe upon hearing this, the person in question became defensive, claiming that “it was just a joke,” or that “you don’t get it,” or that they are protected by “free speech” and are exempt from criticism. Perhaps they became aggressive instead, and began mocking you for questioning their joke, claiming that you should be raped, and that it would be funny if that happened.
While that last possibility seems a bit far fetched, it unfortunately did happen. Near the beginning of July this year, a comedian named Daniel Tosh was performing a stand up set when he started talking about how rape jokes can be funny. When a woman in the audience disagreed with him, he pointed at her and said, “Wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like, five guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her?” The woman left the show, and soon after shared what had happened on her friend’s blog. The story went viral, and Tosh was widely condemned for his actions. However, some people, including respected comedians such as Louis CK, claimed that Tosh shouldn’t be criticized for saying what he said, since comedy shouldn’t be censored or restricted.
The people defending Tosh’s actions and, by extension, the use of rape jokes, are only looking at a small part of a very big picture. They are of course correct when they say that comedy shouldn’t be censored; we are lucky to be living in a country where a person can say almost whatever they want without fearing prosecution. However, just because you can say something, does not mean you should. Because words have power — whether you like it or not, and whether you mean them to or not. Words can lift people up and cause people to laugh, but they can also easily serve to tear people down, especially people who have already been hurt. Jokes that trivialize rape and the survivors of rape have the power to easily hurt others, and help to contribute to one of the most pressing problems facing modern society: rape culture.
On the website upsettingrapeculture.com, rape culture is defined thusly:
“In a rape culture, people are surrounded with images, language, laws, and other everyday phenomena that validate and perpetuate, rape. Rape culture includes jokes, TV, music, advertising, legal jargon, laws, words and imagery, that make violence against women and sexual coercion seem so normal that people believe that rape is inevitable. Rather than viewing the culture of rape as a problem to change, people in a rape culture think about the persistence of rape as ‘just the way things are.’ ”
Rape is a major problem in our society. According to Roger Williams University, one in four women and one out of six men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime, and less than 20% of sexual assaults are actually reported to the police. This is such a widespread issue that you almost certainly know somebody that has been sexually assaulted, whether you are aware of it or not. Rape is only an aspect of sexual assault, with other unwanted sexual acts such as forced touching falling under the same term, but all sexual assault has a profoundly damaging effect on the mental and often physical wellbeing of the survivor.
Being raped is one of the most horrible and traumatizing things that can happen to a person, since it involves being completely invaded, dominated, and humiliated. In a way, it can be seen as worse than death; since death is something that must one day happen to all of us it is easier for people to talk about it and make light of it, but rape is something that no person should be forced to go through. This is compounded by the fact that over 80% of survivors of sexual assault are women, and that almost all people who commit sexual assault are men. It is an act that is carried out primarily on women, by almost exclusively men, making rape and sexual assault something that many women constantly live in fear of, which isn’t how things should be.
The threat of potential sexual assault is only made worse by the existence of rape culture, which normalizes these actions while survivor-blaming the people it has affected. Victim-blaming is a trend in our society to shift the onus of responsibility of the rape onto the victim of the act, instead of onto the rapist. This can be seen when people claim that the survivor was “asking for it” by wearing revealing clothing, walking in the wrong neighborhood or drinking too much alcohol, as if it was somehow their fault that a person violently attacked them. Attitudes like this, along with ideas that rape is somehow natural and that men cannot control themselves, make it difficult for people to come forward and report sexual assault for fear of being silenced and judged along with their attacker.
When people make jokes that trivialize rape and mock the survivors of sexual assault, it only makes these problems worse. It creates an atmosphere of hostility and doubt, where survivors become more fearful of talking about what happened to them. It also can be psychologically damaging towards people who have been sexually assaulted, forcing them to remember the pain of the attack, and then be told it is something to be laughed at. Some of these jokes also claim that a person should be raped, or that they deserve to be raped, which helps to normalize the action and make it seem like something that can be justifiable in certain situations, which it is not.
However, not all jokes about rape do this; like any difficult subject, a joke about rape can be handled correctly. Kate Harding, a feminist and rape survivor, posted a list of fifteen examples of “rape jokes that work” on her blog after the Tosh incident, in order to prove this point. What these jokes have in common is that they don’t target the victims of rape, or claim someone should be raped, or make rape seem less than the traumatic and horrible action it really is. These jokes instead target the rapists and rape culture, the people and social conventions that allow rape and sexual assault to be so prevalent. These jokes do what good comedy is supposed to do, they transcend a painful and traumatic experience instead of merely trivializing and disrespecting it. They criticize the things that are wrong with our society, instead of reinforcing them. And they mock those who deserve to be mocked, instead of people who have already suffered so much.
Because when it comes down to it, Tosh wasn’t being a comedian when he told that woman it would be funny if she was raped. He was being a bully. And while it may have been legal for him or anyone else to say such callous things about such a horrible and sensitive topic, it doesn’t mean those things should be said. Because words do have power. And we should use that power for good.
Suggested reading
Harding, K. (July 13, 2012). 15 Rape Jokes That Work. In Kate Harding. Retrieved November 29, 2012, from http://kateharding.info/2012/07/13/15-rape-jokes-that-work/.
FORCE. (undefined). What is rape culture?. In FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture. Retrieved November 29, 2012, from http://upsettingrapeculture.com/rapeculture.html.
Cookies For Breakfast. (July, 2012). So a Girl Walks into a Comedy Club.... In Cookies For Breakfast. Retrieved November 29, 2012, from http://breakfastcookie.tumblr.com/post/26879625651/so-a-girl-walks-into-a-comedy-club.
Roger Williams University. (undefined). Rape Myths and Facts. In Roger Williams University. Retrieved November 29, 2012, from http://rwu.edu/campus-life/health-counseling/counseling-center/sexual-assault/rape-myths-and-fac.
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